The first weeks after separation shape everything that follows. Not because you need to rush to court, most people never go, but because a handful of practical steps taken early protect your safety, your finances and your children, and prevent the expensive disputes we see when they are skipped. Here is the checklist we give people across Wollongong and the Illawarra.
1. Safety first
If you or your children are at risk, that comes before everything else on this list. Call 000 in an emergency. 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) provides confidential 24/7 support, and NSW Police can help with an apprehended domestic violence order. Family violence, including coercive control and financial abuse, also now directly affects property settlements under the 2025 law changes, so tell your lawyer about it even if it feels separate from the money.
2. Record the separation date
Write down when separation was communicated and keep any message that evidences it. This date drives the 12-month divorce timeline, de facto property time limits and Centrelink entitlements. If you are still living together, read our guide to separation under one roof.
3. Gather your documents
Copies of ID, marriage certificate, bank and credit card statements, payslips, tax returns, superannuation statements, mortgage and loan documents, trust or company records, and insurance policies. Do it early, while access is easy. Full financial disclosure is a legal duty for both parties in any property matter, and having your own records keeps you from negotiating blind.
4. Secure your finances, without scorching the earth
Change passwords and PINs that your former partner knows, including email and myGov. Consider whether joint accounts or redraw facilities need two-to-sign arrangements so funds cannot be emptied unilaterally. Keep paying essential joint commitments like the mortgage where you can, and keep records. Do not empty accounts or run up debt to spite your ex; courts see it, and since 2025 the Family Law Act expressly recognises economic abuse.
5. Make interim arrangements for the children
Aim for a workable short-term routine, even an imperfect one, and keep communication about the children businesslike. What you write in texts and emails now may be read by a judge later. There is no rule that children live with either parent by default; if you cannot agree, family dispute resolution is generally the required first step, not court.
6. Stay off the grenade throwers
Do not post about the separation, your ex or your case on social media. Do not involve the children in adult issues. Do not move significant assets. Each of these creates evidence and conflict that costs real money later.
7. Get advice once, early
One thorough consultation at the start, covering your separation date, time limits, a realistic property range and a plan for the children, is the highest-value hour and a half in this entire process. It usually costs less than a single day of the conflict it prevents. Garrison Lawyers offers a free 20-minute Discovery Call and a comprehensive 90-minute first consultation from our office at 1 Burelli Street, Wollongong, or by phone or video for clients from Lake Heights to Shellharbour, Kiama and the Shoalhaven. Book through our consultations page or call (02) 4210 9288.
Frequently asked questions
Do I have to move out when we separate?
No. Moving out does not forfeit your interest in the home, but neither is it required to establish separation. Housing decisions should be practical and safe, made with an eye on the children’s stability.
When can I apply for divorce?
After 12 months of separation. Property and parenting arrangements do not need to wait and are usually better resolved sooner.
Do I need a lawyer for all of this?
Not for every step. Many people handle the divorce application themselves. Where advice matters most is property, time limits and children, and a one-off consultation may be all you need.
Or start your enquiry right now
Prefer to skip the phone call? Tell us briefly what is happening and when suits you, and we will come back to you within one business day to confirm a time.
This article is general information only, current at the date of publication. It is not legal advice and does not take your circumstances into account. For advice about your situation, speak with a family lawyer.